


coffees for closers

by Volo



Series: An Indefinable Amount of Shades of Grey and Red (A collection of all of my Davekat fics) [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 14:10:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9660677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Volo/pseuds/Volo
Summary: lawlightning42 asked "idea for the davekat thing: what if someone broke the coffee machine?"





	

**Author's Note:**

> this was a prompt on my davekat blog davekat-love.tumblr.com/  
> Thank you, http://lawlightning42.tumblr.com/

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] –-  
CG: DAVE.  
CG: WHERE THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU?  
CG: THIS IS A GODFUCKING EMERGENCY.  
CG: THIS IS YOUR BOYFRIEND, IN DESPERATE NEED OF SOME FUCKING ASSISTANCE.  
TG: jesus christ whats going on  
TG: is this an actual code fucking red break out the sirens and run over a puppy to immediately get there kind of situation  
CG: SO I WANTED A COFFEE BEFORE LEAVING THE HOUSE LIKE ANY NORMAL PERSON WITH A SHRED OF SANITY DOES.  
TG: can i cancel the emergency helicopter  
CG: I AM CURRENTLY NOT CAPABLE OF MAKING THIS SEEM LIKE ANY LESS OF A BIG DEAL THAN IT IS.   
CG: BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY TOO MUCH, I SUPPOSE.  
TG: okay so what cataclysmic event transpired  
CG: I TURNED ON THE COFFEE MACHINE AND, WITH A SOUND MORE TRAGIC THAN ANY SHAKESPEAREAN STORY COULD DREAM OF BEING, IT WHIMPERED OUT THE LAST OF ITS FUCKING GHOST.  
CG: THAT THING IS FUCKING DEAD, DAVE.   
CG: NO KISS CAN SAVE IT NOW.  
CG: WE KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN EVENTUALLY, WITH THE WAY WE’VE BEEN EXPLOITING THAT THING LIKE WE’RE GETTING PAID FOR IT, BUT MY HEART STILL CAN’T HANDLE IT.  
CG: I NEED COFFEE.  
CG: BUT I’M NOT LEAVING THE HOUSE WITHOUT COFFEE.  
CG: AND I’M ESPECIALLY NOT WAITING IN A LINE WITH HIPSTERS AND THEIR DOUCHEY HEADWEAR.   
CG: DO YOU SEE MY DILEMMA?  
TG: you poor thing  
TG: a dilemma of epic proportions clearly  
TG: im not bringing you coffee  
CG: I’M DYING, DAVE.  
TG: and im all tangled up in shooting this dope ass movie   
TG: as in mummification levels of not being able to move  
TG: but if you move your ass to the set ill indulge in your addiction and make you coffee here  
CG: I CAN’T TAKE THE SUBWAY WITHOUT COFFEE IN MY SYSTEM. I’LL PUNCH THE FIRST GUY WHO WANTS TO SELL ME SOMETHING. OR, GOD FORBID, LEAD ME TO JESUS.  
TG: i believe in you karkat you can do it  
CG: THAT’S NOT FUNNY. I’M TOO FUCKING TIRED.  
TG: if you come here ill get you a will smith autograph   
TG: dudes on set right now being somewhat funny  
TG: your prince of bel air fanboy ass cant say no to that   
CG: I SUPPOSE I CAN MANAGE TO FIND JUST A BIT MORE STRENGTH IN ME.  
TG: see you soon  
CG: <3  
TG: <3  
\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] –-


End file.
